[Bette]

The day after the New England Patriots’ stunning defeat at the hands of the New York Giants in Sunday’s Super Bowl game, New England coach Bill Belichick unveiled a $3.1 trillion spending plan for the team that he said would keep it safe and prosperous.

The New England coach said he would do whatever it takes to field an undefeated team next year. He said he would not rule out using 13 men on offense to give his quarterback Tom Brady more time to find open receivers, and he suggested he may lobby the NFL’s competition committee to institute a new rule allowing the Patriots defense to line up in the opposing team’s backfield in the final two minutes of a game, "just in case."
"We all respect Coach Belichick and we believe in what he says," said Brady. "We have been playing 11 against 11 because that’s how it is. You just go out there and try to deal with it. Personally, I would love to play every game 13 against 11."
Belichick acknowledged that it would be "challenging" to reconcile the Patriots spending plan with the NFL’s salary cap rules since the team would, under its present proposal, be spending about 30,000 times more than the rules allow. But the football genius said he was determined to find a way, even if it meant paying a hefty fine out of his own pocket.

"If that’s what they want, we’ll give it to them. I’ll even have the payment videotaped," said a confident Belichick.
MADDOCKS: Following loss, Patriots unveil trillion dollar spending plan - Framingham, MA - The Framingham Tab

A little clarification might be needed here: This is a joke.