Growing excitement stemming from the opening of
training camps throughout the National
Football League was overshadowed yesterday by the decidedly controversial decision to outsource the entire league to
Africa. The move comes as a surprise to many. While rumours had circulated that the
NFL may expand to include teams outside of the
United States in the later parts of 2006, they had never quite been imagined on this magnitude.
“I don’t believe that Americans will shy away from this change,” commented NFL
Commissioner Roger Goodell. “Basically we will be providing the same product that we always have provided on the field. Only now instead of teams like the St. Louis Rams and Indianapolis
Colts you will be watching the Kampala Rams and the Ouagadougou Colts.”
Regarding whether or not the players will have a future with this newly created African league, Goodell assured SSNN that, “Players from the current NFL can choose to move to Africa along with the league if they would like, provided that they accept a massive pay cut and are prepared to live in squalor. America will be drawn to the sport with or without the likes of
Randy Moss and
Reggie Bush, so long as there are teams with colourful jerseys and exciting names like the Falcons on the field.”
“The move was impossible to resist once we heard how little we had to pay our players and employees,” commented
New York Giants General Manager
Jerry Reese. “I believe Goodell has made a very sound business decision. These multi-million dollar
contracts were becoming ludicrous. We had to pay Eli Manning a $20 million signing bonus and it still took us a full three years to win the
championship. I’ve heard that over there we can just pay them in livestock or water or something.”
Entire NFL outsourced to Africa in cost-cutting move 
Sorry folks, but I think stuff like this is funny. Can you imagine Tom Brady, Adam Jones, or Peyton Manning living in squalor? Most of them live in mansions. Hey, this would solve the rookie cap problem right Goth? Max pay would be 3 cows and 2 goats.
07-06-2008, 10:16 AM
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